Trump Discovers ‘Happy Couple’ in Bed

Trump reportedly was just strolling in the neighborhood when he noticed them in bed, a jovial couple in their early-60’s. “You two seem really happy” he said, “how did you guys do it?”

The Couple looked to one-another thoughtfully, and they were seen invitning the President in for a cup of coffee. He sat with them for several hours, seen leaning in when they reached critical parts of their conversation. He was seen smiling, laughing, and at one point, he offered his hand in solidarity. They broke bread, and drank. This was an unusual side of the President that few in the public eye have witnessed before, the hard outer-shell was broken and revealed a soft nougety center.

The President rose to excuse himself, when the couple interjected, they whispered in his ear. They dropped their robes, and began stripping the President to nothing. The three reentered the bedroom and made love. The President relieved himself twice, once inside each partner. They fell asleep in eachothers’ arms and slept late into the day.

The President ignored his cellphone until the next morning. His Chief of Staff, Susie Wiles, submitted a Missing Person’s report which was retracted ‘in error’. Trump returned to the White House, clothes loosely hanging around his body. He looked whistfully towards Pennsylvania Ave and slammed the front door behind him.